Hey kids, as we approach Halloween I just wanted you guys to be careful and say DON’T FUCK WITH SPIRITS. Don’t mess with Ouija Boards, don’t talk to no dead people, don’t fuck with demons, don’t summon shit, don’t dick around in abandoned buildings. If you are considering a thing, just think, “would a white person in a horror movie do this thing?” If the answer is yes, then don’t do the thing.
How to Really, Really Piss Off the Wesboro Baptist Church
i have never hit the reblog button so fast jfc
this is really great omg
I don’t think I could ever date a good actor like he could tell me he loves me and I’d be like nah you said it much more convincingly to kate winslet try again
fun fact: if a persons body odor smells good to you that means they have an immune system basically opposite of yours! this happens so the chances of finding a mate with the opposite immune system is greater and the chances that any offspring you produce together will have a stronger immune system is greater.
this is fascinating
*announces my pregnancy at your funeral to shift the attention around to me*
*reincarnates as your child to shift the attention around to me*
Ladies, if you think your man is cheating. Take him to that bitches front door and see if his wifi connects.
You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
This is actually pissing me off. It has begun to ruin halloween for me knowing people don’t spell check. Things are massed produced in factories and sent out for sale to the public spelt spoopy, doo, and creppy. Like what the actual fuck. My computer even automatically changes spoopy to spooky. I mean, come on. The best holiday season and businesses don’t even care enough about it to spell check the items they’re gonna sell. Fuck this shit.
come on buddy wheres your smngfiehp cheer
HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY IM DYING
Easy. Underpaid overworked basically slave workers in foreign countries that probably don’t read English, or are perhaps so tired that they made a mistake.